Back to the City.

Here I was back on the street again and with no money, and because of the 1989 quake, the vbanking system was not working well, which affected me severely. I thought after I had to leave the detox program that this was not a huge problem, until I found out my Social Security check was not in my account. I found out about this the hard way, going to an ATM machine expecting money, but because of the confusion that existed after the quake nothing was working well. No SSN checks or money transfers available. This sucked! I had managed to hook up with my friend at the hotel on Columbus and Broadway and he helped me get back into his room. I then called some agencies to try to and get my check. I was told that I should go to my Senators office, where I might get some help. I went to Barbra Boxer’s office, where I told my story. I talked with a sympathetic worker in her office who told me she would do everything she could to correct the situation. Two days later my check was in my account, saving my ass for the time being. (thank you again Barbra Boxer!) Here I was back at the scene of the crime with some money, which did not last very long with the drugs and alcohol that we were buying every day. Luckily, for me I was able to turn a few drug deals involving cocaine to supplement my income allowing me to party a little with a couple of young working girls I knew. This took some of the edge off. I made up my mind to get back to the VA drug rehab and called to find out when I could get in. As a former graduate of the program, I had preference over any first time applicants, but I had to wait two weeks before I could gain entry as long as I was sober and not high on drugs. So I hung out for a couple of weeks in North Beach, then the night before I was to be admitted back to the program I got high with a girlfriend, did some heroin and got on a train late at night headed to Menlo VA. You see I was not even close to being a good person in those days and I didn't want to think or relate to my situation and I only wanted to be distracted from my own reality. Where my head was in those days was not good. I had a confused way of thinking. Not having to feel pain, any kind of psychological or nerve pain was not what I wanted, and I would do anything I could to avoid "feeling pain" in any way. After arriving in Menlo Park, I walked over to a friend’s house and asked for temporary sanctuary for the night and a ride to the VA in the morning, which my friend provided. I was back in a long-term recovery program. Only it did not last for long.