Relations

During the time, I was in the burn unit I wondered how women might react to me and my changed condition. My doctors and social workers told me that the majority of relationships ended or were changed considerably when one partner was disabled or physically changed with a deformity. I was hoping to experience compassion from women that I was attracted to, but so far, this has not been true. I need to clarify that as a young man, I was told I was attractive and I was always attracted to women who I percieved to be attractive. This is a state of mind that all of us experience. We know what we like and who we would like to be with. So let's just say at this point that I knew who I wanted to meet and be with, and in my mind my way of thinking wasn't going to change about who I was interested in, because of my injuries. Let's admit to ourselves, and be honest about how we are and how we think, because we have a tendency and decide early on who we would like to be with and who we become attracted to. I believe that physical attraction is the first thing that comes up when meeting somebody new and is a very important part of who we want to be with and fall in love with. Unfortunately, for me, my experiences and my attitude was shaped by to many negative experiences with women, who after they found out about my burn injuries rejected me. After that, I was influenced by bad results. When I discussed with others what happened to me and with women I was interested in, they all tried to be encouraging, but they had no idea what was going on. All saying that can't be true, women are compassionate and understanding. It's nice to be positive when you have no real understanding of reality and it doesn't affect you personally. The reaction from some women was bad enough and when they just totally backed off after knowing my situation, did hurt. I sincerely wish this wasn't so, but all the compassion and understanding I've heard women say they have has not translated into a good experience for me. I'm not really bitter about this, in fact I really understand having been turned off myself to someone who had an obvious disability, especially scarring or a physical ailment that makes a person unattractive. Therefore, I guess if I have been treated in the same fashion by others responses towards me, I should just accept this, this is very difficult to do. I'm working on changing my outlook and I hope maybe what I want in a relationship may happen one these days. Good luck and hang in there.