A bad year.

Treatment for liver disease is unsuccessful. They will try again in a year. It’s now 2002 and the Giants almost win the World Series. This would have been a good thing in an otherwise depressing year. I’m still very affected in a negative manner by my marriage falling apart, not to mention the anger associated with how the end of the relationship came about. I also lost my teeth due to the radiation treatments going through my jaw, making it necessary to remove my teeth. More fun and games, not to mention the inconvenience that comes with, learning how to use dentures, and the discomfort that comes with learning to depend on fake teeth to eat. I’m not having much fun at this time and I’m hoping for an upswing to my living situation. I changed my internet web site from selling Pokemon cards to baseball cards. This is profitable at the start, but soon the market is flooded with all the releases by the card companies competing with each other over specialty cards.

Attempting to get a message of hope to someone who cares.

Now I’m being treated for liver decease, which gives me a possibility of getting rid of this virus that has affected my liver. There are some extreme cases of Hep C that have infected another person through contact, but unless it is direct, blood-to-blood contact it is almost impossible to transfer to another person. In all honesty, it is not impossible, but so rare, because the circumstances have to be unique for that to happen. A lot of people think Hep C is like Aids, but it is not and not even in the same sphere. I’ve said my piece, but most people won’t believe me, which is to bad. This problem has caused me predictably, problems for some time, but I’m still hopeful of meeting a women who is not afraid of this problem I have and I still think I can have a rewarding life, I’m hopeful.

A visit to a hospital, not a lot of fun

Hi there, I'm back after a stay in a hospital because of a lower bowl problem. The details are unnecessary due to the overall grossness of the problem and the treatment for the cure. You really don't want to know the details. I've been trying to regain a mind set to continue with this narrative and it's taken a few days to accomplish that. This recurring problem has everything to do with my original injuries and the treatments I received for the cancer I survived. I have a compromised immune system, with low white and red blood cell counts. Because of those treatments, I managed to overcome Cancer. Those treatments were in the form of radiation to my throat to get at a growth on my tonsil. Because of these treatments, my bone marrow was affected, leading to low cell productivity. Just another twist in my quest to recover and survive. I'm OK for now, but I never know when I may experience another obstacle in my road to a good life.

A bad time

In 2001, I was informed that I have Hepatitis C. I really don’t know what to expect anymore. My doctors told it is possible that I could have contracted this liver disease while in the Navy, but no one can be sure, when I contracted this virus. There are a few treatment programs for this virus and I start on one. This treatment is not successful. This medicine affects the immune system by super charging it to combat the virus, but the overall effect of the treatment lowers you white and red blood cell counts, because our immune systems are not accustomed to working in this boosted state. As my life becomes more and more depressing during this time, I am beginning to lose some hope that I can have any enjoyment living anymore. Do not take that statement the wrong way, as I still around to write about all this and intend to continue. It was a low part of my recovery and I wonder how many others would have felt any different then I during this down period.

Cancer treatment

Surviving cancer, another monumental accomplishment in my life, but without the help of my doctors, what would it mean? Not much, but I have learned to depend on professionals to keep me alive. I am wondering what else I have to go through to attain a semblance of normalcy in my life. The radiation treatments started out fine with no pain and I was thinking this is easy. My doctor guaranteed she would rid me of the cancer and I wanted very much to believe her diagnosis. She was right and I have been cancer free to this day. After two weeks of treatment, my throat started to hurt and continued to get worse, till the point where I could no longer swallow without pain. At this point, I could only drink milkshakes for sustenance. So after weeks of having a weak immune system due to the radiation and my high sugar diet, I developed diabetes. I am asking myself, what could be next? Well there were worse things to be discovered down the road, but at least this was type two diabetes and was easily treated with medication. Enough for today.

Surviving Cancer

Early in 2001, I my dentist spotted a growth on my tonsil he was concerned about, which led me to a ear, nose and throat specialist at the VA. I had surgery to remove the growth and waited apprehensively for two weeks waiting for the results. It was cancer. I underwent five weeks of radiation designed to kill the cancer in my throat, which was successful. I lost a saliva gland, making swallowing difficult, but the other alternative was not so great. My beard also grows kind of funny now, with one side of my face thicker then the other. Well, I survived another life-threading situation, this time evolving the big “C” and I am asking myself what next. There will be another conditio9n to come. After my treatment for the cancer was successful I changed direction on the internet to selling baseball cards. Base ball has always been a passion of mine and I thought it would be fun to sell baseball cards instead of Pokemon. The baseball card business was much more difficult then selling Pokemon. A lot more competition existed in the selling of baseball cards. I was not as successful with baseball as I was with Pokemon. I still enjoyed myself and I needed a distraction from my ongoing medical problems, which were not improving. I continued to keep a positive attitude about my setbacks. The card selling and especially the opening of card packs, which was maybe more fun then I remembered as a kid. There is a special thrill about finding a great card in a pack. I remember pulling a one out of only a hundred signed cards by Barry Bonds, which was a great thrill. I still have this card.

My quest for happiness

I am trying to meet a special lady who might enjoy my company. I am running this post on Craig’s list. If there is any interest, email cozcom@sbcglobal.net. Something a bit different today. Read on.
Do you feel bad about a loss to cancer, physical injury or disfigurement and think love or companionship is over for you? I do not believe it should to be that way, because of an unfortunate accident that has happened to you. I am a man who was injured in a fire twenty years ago. My body, except my face, is scared from third degree burns. I have experienced rejection from what I consider small minds who have been put off by my scars from my injuries. I also have related my experiences during my recovery and the pitfalls that can occur when trying to get relief from chronic pain. I have had very limited understanding about what I did to try and overcome constant pain, in other words, not much understanding. If I sound upset it is because despite my reaching out, I have been rejected by some who think I retain bad habits, which I do not. It was hard living with my injuries and the resulting pain, but I found ways to handle these problems. I hope to meet an intelligent and attractive women who believes in taking care of herself and to look the best she can. It is important to me that despite what may have happened to you in your life, you still have a sense of humor. I do, and spending time with me will be enjoyable for you. I am a fun guy who can make you laugh. You may feel insecurity because of your own personal loss. This could be from any terrible accident you have been in. What I am saying, is if you have negative thoughts about yourself or appearance because of an unfortunate experience in your life, do not! If you think no one could be interested in you, then you may enjoy talking with me. I hope you will. I am sexually active, and enjoy making love very much. I’m including a picture and will respond to you if you send me a picture. Fair is fair. By including my picture and you choose to respond, I have to think you are attracted to me and I hope for the opportunity to feel the same way. I’m doing good financially and would enjoy a cruise or a trip somewhere with the right women. I am confident of meeting a women who can appreciate me and my quest for an enjoyable life and will respond to me. Please do not think your life is finished because of a physical change, because I believe that is not true. I'm 6'6" 220lbs and try very hard to keep my myself looking as good as I can and hope for a women who feels the same about herself. I love baseball and cooking among many things. I hope to hear from a brave woman who desires a chance for happiness. I also really wonder how much compssaion exsist now. Rick, Something different today.

Selling Pokemon on the internet

I am back in the Bay Area and keeping busy by selling Pokemon cards on line. This is fun. I am trying to work through personal events in my life. I am not very happy with the aftermath from my failed marriage, but I am not the first to go through this. I concentrated on my online business for the year and was enjoying myself. I had some nice interactions with the mothers of the children who wanted the Pokemon cards, cutting a good deal when I could. I heard numerous stories about desperation and a lack of funds to pay for the cards that they bid on and won. Some were just “stories” and scams. I was not especially hurting for money at the time so played along and gave breaks depending on the originality of the request. I was enjoying myself. Here I am living in an old shoe store in a less then delightful neighborhood in Oakland, constantly wondering if the gunshots I hear will sometime be directed my way. What the hell, there are many ways life can be challenging and entertaining. I am joking here, you know. I had a mail slot, which opened on the street side of my building that had a lid, that was constantly flipped up and down to the delight of the kids in the area. They would delight in opening it up and yelling terms of endearment my way. So I did, out of frustration, create a sign that could be read when looking in the mailbox with my own terms of endearment. This was stupid on my part, but anything for entertainment during these times. 2001 was approaching and I was about to find out I had Cancer.

Clearing up any misunderstandings

It has been brought to my attention through my attempts to meet a women using Craig’s list, that I come across as a drunk, because of all my trips to programs and the continual bouts I had with alcohol. I’m writing this blog with an ending in mind, which will end with my current activities. I am chronicling my life since my injuries and there are some unfortunate decisions I made, but I have had to go through, to end up where I am now. I wanted a natural progression to current time, but it is not working out that way. I do not use alcohol to kill pain and have not for a number of years. Thanks to the doctor I see, who prescribed the medication I needed for so many years to help with the nerve damage pain I feel, I no longer have a need to use any other methods to help control my chronic pain. I am sorry for the judgmental people who cannot see the big picture and I take some of that blame for the way I have presented myself. I only want to present the entire process I have been through trying to live a normal life, by the way, which is impossible at times. I have written a disclaimer, which I plan to attach ever now and then, so maybe people will not be so judgmental. It follows.
I need to say despite all these negative occurrences with attempting to control pain, I finally succeeded many years ago getting it all under control. I do not drink like I once did and my medications have worked well for me for ten years now. Use the Google ads about recovery centers if they appeal to you, but they are not the links I wanted for my blog. I wanted burn survivor groups, clubs etc. I am trying to get them changed, but I am not having a lot of luck yet. Enjoy! That is what is important.

An unfortunate relationship for me.

The best thing that happened towards the end of the year, was meeting my VA doctor. I had a bad knee from running track in high school and it was determined an operation would help me. This opened up the avenue to pain medication. I had long talks with my doctor, where he agreed pain medication would help me if I could take it without abusing it. Abusing narcotics is so easy to do. Taking the medicationss and learning not to abuse them took about eighteen months. During this process, there were many changes. I moved, which was a mistake to the San Diego area. My wife wanted to live close to an aunt of hers. We were not getting along very well at this time. It wasn't a one-way street. I was having a hard time adjusting to my medication and she had her own medical problems. Just like fifty percent of marriages in this country, this one was showing all the signs of not working out. We did divorce and I came back to Alameda via a stop in Oakland for a while. I need to say despite all these negative occurrences with attempting to control pain, I finally succeeded many years ago getting it all under control. I do not drink like I once did and my medications have worked well for me for seven years now.